Lili does not dance to anyone’s tune, but she will be watching carefully and taking notes from the sidelines

There’s been many a time recently when I’ve been tempted to look certain people in the eye and say something that isn't very nice, such as “You know what the difference is between you and KC and the Sunshine Band? I don’t dance to your tune, dear!” or maybe "I'm sorry, I think you've mistaken me for someone who enjoys playing idiotic games" or "Do you know what the difference is between me and a harp?"

But there really is no need for confrontation, and the idea of looking anyone in the eye is rather yuck. Actions always speak louder than words anyway. And I’ve found that the most manipulative people in this world are invariably suffering from some type of mental illness or personality disorder or deep psychological insecurity, and in time, they can be relied upon to get themselves into more trouble than I could ever arrange for them. I've also found that these people are invariably female. Make of that what you will. It’s just a pity that they so often drag a collection of stooges, fools, innocent bystanders, children and people who are only trying to do their job into their world of melodrama, chaos and self-absorbtion. It’s the children that I worry about.

If you suspect that you might be the target of the unreasonable demands and lies of a person who has a serious psychological problem that is characterized by an obsession with manipulating others, Lili's advice is to run, run like the wind, and don't ever look back, and if you don't take my advice, don't look to me for sympathy.

Lili Marlene’s Chocolate Orange Self Saucing Pudding

Winter is just around the corner, and oranges will be in season. This recipe is rather ordinary in flavour without the extra dimension of orange, because it is only made with cocoa, not chocolate, but nevertheless a plain chocolate version is never rejected by the kids, or the grown-ups.

I've tried using the juice from the orange in this recipe, with less boiling water, as the liquid poured over the top. For some reason this seems to mess up the magic in the way that a sauce materializes at the bottom of the mix, and a solid sponge forms at the top. It tasted OK though.

Lili Marlene’s Chocolate Orange Self Saucing Pudding

Ingredients
1 cup self-raising flour
3 tablespoons of quality cocoa powder
½ cup castor sugar (I have found raw castor sugar on sale in Coles Supermarkets)
Finely grated rind of 1 large orange (use a fork to remove all the rind from a manual grater)
½ cup milk
2 beaten eggs
60g melted butter

¾ cup or 120g brown sugar
(another) 3 tablespoons of quality cocoa powder
2 cups boiling water

Equipment
A large fairly flat Pyrex baking dish (you just can’t have enough Pryrex in the kitchen!)

Method
Pre-heat oven to 160c fan-forced or 180c conventional
Mix first 4 ingredients together (cocoa, flour, sugar, rind)
Pour on the milk and egg, mix till mixture is smooth
Mix in the butter
Pour mix into the baking dish
Sprinkle the brown sugar over the mix, then sprinkle the second lot of cocoa over this
Pour the boiling water over this mix
Bake for around 35 minutes. The top solid layer should be cooked and there should be a liquid layer bubbling up around the sides when it is cooked.
You can serve it with ice cream or whipped cream.

Copyright Lili Marlene 2010.

Lili Marlene’s Easy Chocolate Steamed Pudding

What really matters about family cooking isn’t complicated recipes with dozens of obscure and expensive ingredients. What really matters is how often you actually make nice things for the family, things that they want to eat, putting the hot goodies onto the table for everyone to enjoy. If you have kids, today’s meals are the stuff of childhood memories that will last a lifetime. I think it is preferable that those memories do not consist primarily of foods with names that start with “Mc” or "Nanna's".


Lili Marlene’s Easy Chocolate Steamed Pudding

Ingredients
60g butter
½ cup brown sugar
60-70g quality dark chocolate, broken up into pieces
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 cup boiling water
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup self-raising flour
½ cup ground almonds (omit if you want a moister, more spongy texture)

Special Equipment
A pudding steamer tin with a lid.
A large saucepan with a lid, large enough for the steamer to bob about inside it.

Method
Place the butter, brown sugar, chocolate pieces, vanilla and bicarb into a large heat-resistant mixing bowl.
Pour over the boiling water and stir to mix. Leave it to cool down.
Mix in the beaten eggs, then mix in the flour and the ground almonds.
Grease the steamer tin. Pour the mixture into it and secure the lid. Place the tin into the saucepan with enough boiling water in it to float the tin in it.
Steam pudding for 1 ¾ hours, checking every ½ hour or so to make sure that it is not boiling dry.
Carefully turn the hot pudding out, upside-down onto a plate.
Serve hot with pouring custard.

Copyright Lili Marlene 2010.

Lili Marlene's Footwear Tips - Number 3

Crocs are for kiddies, not adults. If you must wear them, only as slippers, please.

Lili Marlene's Footwear Tips - Number 2

If you wear your cherry-red Doc Marten's boots with yellow shoelaces, you run the risk of looking rather too-much like Ronald McDonald.

Lili Marlene's Footwear Tips - Number 1

If you loose a pin off a Croc shoe, don't despair, don't throw the shoe away. Go back to the shop where you bought the shoes and they might have some spare pins, which can be snapped into place without tools.

Rice Bubble and Date Delight

My working-class grandmother used to make this slice, and I thought it was the best thing ever when I was a littlie. It’s hard to believe that it has been a quarter of a century since Nan departed this world. This easy recipe requires no baking.


Rice Bubble and Date Delight

110g butter
220g chopped dates
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups Rice Bubbles (can use a little bit more if you like a lighter slice)
extra desiccated coconut
A tray suitable for slices (approx. 28.5cm x 18cm x 2cm) (one of the most useful items in the kitchen)

Put the butter, dates and sugar in a saucepan.
Heat it gently while stirring and squashing the dates with the spoon, till the mix is pretty thick and the dates have lost much of their form, a few minutes.
Add the Rice Bubbles and mix gently.
Grease the tray and sprinkle it with coconut.
Turn out the mix onto the tray and smooth it flat.
Sprinkle with more coconut.
Leave to set in fridge.
Turn out onto a board and cut into rectangles.