The Dickhead Quotient (DQ)

The Dickhead Quotient (DQ)
Are you a trendy dickhead? Our behaviour, choice of words and expressed beliefs reflect how much we lack personal integrity or unthinkingly follow questionable or idiotic fads and popular ideas. Try this quick questionnaire!


1. Do you love to use the words “resonance” or “resonate” in a non-scientific sense?

2. Do you often accuse other people of being “inappropriate” or behaving “inappropriately” without explaining exactly why?

3. Do you consider telling the truth to be an indulgent luxury or a highly risky strategy?

4. Do you use the words “articulate” and “intelligent” interchangeably, because you consider that the two words mean the same thing?

5. Do you believe that programmes that aim to promote everyone’s “self-esteem” are the answer to the world’s problems, while neglecting or ignoring real problems in your midst that cause real psychological harm to people?

6. Do you implement policies that explicitly aim to promote personal resilience, even though you have no idea whether such a trait can really be promoted by official policies?

7. Do you use the word “vibrant” to describe people or a social or artistic scene?

8. Do you often use the word “synergy” in a non-scientific context?

9. Do you diagnose depression and/or bipolar disorder in people that you hardly know, despite having no psychiatric or psychological qualifications?

10. Do you use the word “connect” in a vague, non-physical sense to describe situations associated with communication or relationships?

11. Do you use the word “rich” to describe literature, texts, ideas or use of language, but never people?

12. Do you prefer to use euphemisms such as “let go” instead of “fired”, or “fall over” instead of “fail completely”?

13. Are you currently fascinated by the idea of interpersonal empathy, but have little interest in the basic rights of others?

Scoring
For every “Yes” answer score 1 point.

For every “No” answer score 0 points.


Score of 0

You are almost certainly not a dickhead. Some people may admire your lack of personal pretension and ability to think for yourself, but these characteristics are liabilities if you wish to work within any large organization or government department.


Score in the range of 1 – 3

You are probably not a dickhead. You may be best suited to technical work.


Score in the range of 4 – 6

You are definitely a dickhead. Have you considered a career in the public service, teaching, arts administration, the performing arts, the literary world, social work, business, journalism or the ABC?


Score in the range of 7 – 13

You are a real dickhead and most likely an arsehole as well. You would be ideally suited to a managerial position or politics, or perhaps one of the least technical professions.