Depressing gray-coloured minimalist-style houses that look strange in the midst of a world of colour and complexity
The idea of just “one iota”, but not two iotas or 89 or 40,000 iotas
Obesity in TV personalities
Cooking magazine covers featuring a dessert or cake with raspberries on top
Posing for a photograph with another person making the outline of a heart shape with parts of your bodies
Making your kids do the above
Job ads that ask for applicants who feel "passionate" about whatever form of drudgery the job entails
Feeling "passionate" about cooking
Describing an enthusiastic or capable person as "passionate"
Mothers bitching to other mothers about their sons' misbehaviour
Describing chocolate-flavoured foods as "decadent"
Describing fat-filled foods as "wicked"
Macarons
Cutely-decorated cupcakes
Relishes
Caramelizing vegetables
Cakes with white icing that drips down the sides
Footy players with depression
Normally-stoic men crying in TV interviews
Women blaming themselves
Unconvincing TV soap and drama characters who constantly consider the welfare and feelings of others
Professional women on TV obsessing over the eating habits or food availability of others
The idea that individuals deciding to not read or view an offensive item in print or the electronic media is an adequate response to the offensive item
Journalists doing stories about whether the streets are safe following a senseless murder
The idea that women like to eat chocolate for emotional reasons
The idea that gluttony with sweet foods is a feminine behaviour
The idea that women like syrupy-sweet alcoholic drinks
A holiday in Disneyland
A holiday in Bali
The use of the word “adrenaline” in a non-medical context.
The use of the word “testosterone” in a non-medical context
The use of the word "passion" in a non-religious context
The use of the words "connect" and "connection" in non-physical contexts
The idea of "Empathy"
“The Obesity Epidemic”
“The Autism Epidemic”
The idea of "retail therapy" as a favourite pastime of women
Old people believing that that all youths are out of control
Hip Hop culture
Endless mental health awareness campaigns
Asking a pregnant woman what gender she is hoping her unborn child will be
Answering that question by saying "I don't care as long as the baby is healthy/normal"
Absurdly enthusiastic celebrity chefs on TV
People bursting into tears during TV interviews
Rolf Harris bursting into tears during TV interviews
Graffiti tags
The idea that children will love eating fresh fruit and salad if it is presented attractively or entertainingly
Just about everything that sports commentators say
Just about everything that Andrew Denton says or thinks
Absolutely everything that Ray Martin has ever said or will say
Smoking
Working-class mothers with gigantic arses
The Australian ute (I remember the days when useful people drove utes)
The Australian ute with an Australian breed of dog in the back (a Blue Heeler or a Kelpie) - a double Australian nationalistic cliche
The idea of “Mateship”
Referring to "mateship" on ANZAC Day
Bright pink clothes for girls to wear
Baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink
Overgeneralized statements about “how boys think” or “how boys learn”
Bestseller books in paperback editions about psychological differences between the sexes
Ugly and meaningless motifs on the front of T-shirts
“Growing old disgracefully”
“Marching to a different drummer”
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief
The assumption that the loved ones of a dead victim will “have closure” as the result of being given new information or a body being found
The idea that anyone can become addicted to drugs after one or a few uses, and they are powerless to avoid or resist addiction
The idea that drug addiction forces formerly normal people to turn to crime and lead a life of degradation, rather than the obvious possibility that criminal or troubled people may be more likely than others to become drug addicts
The idea that 12-step programs are an effective intervention for alcoholism
The idea that caffeine is a harmful drug
The idea that cannabis is a mild or relatively benign drug because it is "natural"
The idea that sociability and alcohol consumption go hand in hand
The idea that some forms of sexuality are more "natural" than others
Deliberately making your car’s tyres screech as you do a turn from a suburban road
Cars with red paintwork (go faster they say)
The sound of a record being scratched while playing, as a sound effect denoting the abrupt end of a pleasant fantasy
The idea that loners dream of becoming popular in some miraculous transformation
The idea that dyslexia is writing letters backwards
The idea that synaesthesia is nothing but a mixing-up of the senses
The idea that autism is an inability to read facial expressions
The idea that all geniuses are at least a little bit insane
The idea that personality is formed from early childhood experiences involving parents and siblings
The idea that a substantial proportion of women are physically unable to breast-feed
The idea that pasta is health food
The idea that yoghurt is much healthier than other dairy foods
Claiming for no apparent reason that you don’t fear death, when no one really cares what your feelings are about the subject
The idea that mental illness is caused by not expressing emotions
Aboriginal youths taking speed and stealing cars and killing people in car crashes
The idea that young Australian families with mortgages are in financial stress because they demand to live in luxurious two-storey McMansions
McMansions
McMansions with non-functional tall pillars either side of the front door
The idea that the problems of all troubled youth and children can be solved by improving their diets
The idea that all social problems can be solved by increasing social connectedness
The idea that children with abnormal behaviour who were raised in horrible Romanian orphanages in the 1980s were like that solely due to emotional and educational deprivation
Using the above idea as emotional blackmail to make new mothers comply with whatever advice on parenting that a self-appointed parenting expert advoocates
The idea that parents can create super-intelligent offspring out of normal babies by doing educational interventions and buying educational toys
The idea that intellectually gifted children are made, not born
The idea that caesarian birth is an easier option for the mother than an uncomplicated vaginal birth
The idea that autism is one condition with one thing causing it
The idea that all Australians like to eat Vegemite
The idea that motor mechanics are all the type of bloke who likes to smoke and drink beer
White Iceberg roses and some fancy type of couch grass for a lawn in the front garden
Back yards decorated like an indoor room, with a grey colour scheme, and flowerless, fruitless and scentless plants with odd-coloured foliage
As Hedley Lamarr (in the movie Blazing Saddles) would say:
I HATE THAT CLICHE!
